Stuff Missionaries Say…

First up, it’s a little weird trying to get into a writing rhythm with all of the craziness of a furlough. Hopefully I will find my jam and keep up with the posting like you’re used to. On the furlough note, if you’re interested, take a look at our schedule and come out and see us in person.

bathroom graffitiThe longer I live here in Paraguay, the more I realize what kind of stuff comes out of my mouth. Stuff I thought I would never hear myself say.

Crazy stuff.

Wacky stuff.

It’s Stuff Missionaries Say…

These are things that have actually been said. Some are borrowed from other missionaries. Some are mine.

Does that come with the head?

This is a pertinent question when buying meat. You will want to know if said animal has its dome or not. A head can dramatically change your cooking strategy. Not to mention, if you’re one who’s prone to guilt, you may need to blindfold your supper to avoid that piercing stare.

Mom: Why is there a chicken head on the table?

Six-year-old son: Oh, sorry that’s mine. 

I just read this as a Facebook status recently from missionary friends. Do you see the cultural differences here? In Paraguay this is an average day. In the United States, your kid would be confined and subjected to counseling to determine what stage his disconnect with society is. The line between farm boy and school shooter is a border crossing.

Dang it! I threw the toilet paper in the commode again.

I am preparing for this one to ramp up right after we get back from our furlough. Our septic systems in Paraguay can’t deal with the tissue so we toss it in trash cans next to the potty. However, here in the good ole U. S. of A., we can drop the paper in the swirl of exiting water. Two months here is sufficient time to develop a habit and destroy our plumbing in Paraguay.

Go get a bag of milk and a bag of mayonnaise from Señora Maria’s living room next door.

Where to start? Ok. Yes, milk and mayonnaise both come in plastic bags down here. A lot of stuff does. Check out this Photo Friday stuff in bags edition.

Also a huge number of Paraguayans have a little store set up in the front room of their house. They sell goods to their neighbors like a convenience store.

What wacky stuff have you heard from your mouth lately?

One thought on “Stuff Missionaries Say…

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  1. I think I’ve lived in Ukraine too long to notice these things any more but I know that they do happen here. We also have milk in a bag and mayonnaise and ketchup and soap and a bunch of other things. I’ll have to ask my kids what strange things we’ve said recently.


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